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Talk with your partner before fingering and fisting to find out what you are both looking for. So while foreplay sex acts before penetrative sex often includes fingering, to be an expert at sex with your hands, think of fingering as another form of penetrative sex, and tack on the foreplay before inserting fingers. To avoid cuts and abrasions, keep your nails trim and tidy. Lube makes sex more pleasurable for lots of womenregardless of their age or medical status. While everyone and every situation is different, tantric sex coach Devi Ward says to give those with vaginas 20 to 45 minutes to reach full arousal. Like what you see? That said, it's also helpful to establish a baseline of fingering skills. Plus, shorter nails just tend to feel better on vaginas. Start with one finger.